am i a basket case?

I'm healthy now, and got second wind for my school again.
my honey is back. he said he's ready to commit. and he's been the sweetest, but something's itching there, and i cant quite put my finger on it...
he's so good to me, my honey, but i'm out of confidence, and today in particular.
to make things clear, i have to be very honest for a second and say that we 're not having sex, and this is due to a certain medical condition, which the doctor has promissed will be over in 4 weeks. so we've been together for a month, then we've been away for a month, and still another month to go, until we can complitely unify ourselves. i think all the mess, i will explain right away, and which looks like very high spiritual matters, is actually rather simple, and has to do with something purely phisical.
so here's what its all about. my hubby, the luv of my life, Roy, once called me a 'hugging monster', and that's what i am. first of all getting phisical is very important to me. i think it even has something to do with this urge i have, when i love a man, to be absorbed in him, to be one, and its not at all about penetrations, its about loosing myself in another and being totally helpless and needy and dependent, and being loved, and being given warmth, and being a child again. breaking all my borders and being a half of something, and being nothing by myself.
as banalia as it sounds, its true.
now, here's his side: he doesnt want to kiss and to cuddle (which doesnt imply that he doesnt like it). and thats what he told me yesterday in bed: there's no point for him to stay in bed and hug for 36 hours because we never get enough anyway, and this desire can not be saturated, especially when no sex comes in the end. he just wants to be with me. he feels so complete and peaceful when he falls asleep holding my hand. and when we will have sex he still wouldnt like a 6 hours foreplay, like he knows i would. but, one thing, he's, as Noga calls it, zonat masazhim (back-rubs-whore). he also said he feels like we're not on the same page, because he wants just to be with me, and i want to roll in bed without sleep and food till we die, and that i need some kind of absolute love. He keeps saying that i'm needy all the time...
So i dont even know what to say... Can there be anything more wonderful, than a man who just wants to hold my hand and to fall asleep and wake up with me?... but why do i still feel this kind of rejection, even though i wasnt really rejected of anything? why do i get yet needier?
when i had a boy who wanted to cuddle with me forever, i kept sayng - why cant we just go to sleep holding hands? and another boy, who wanted just to cuddle, i told him - what is the point, we never get enough? but now, i just loose my mind.
Its not true that i am so insatiable. i do get full and content and fairly happy. its just that the balance is so hard to find. can i ever be happy with a boy who's not as needy, and as borderline, and as self absorbed as i am? how am i going to be able to enjoy going to sleep hand in hand without thinking that i'm in a condition where i cant ask for more and i have to satisfied with what there is? and how will i know if all this is good for me, and the little adjustments i'm making are actually an advance for me, or wether i'm braking myself and i need more than this...

it's turned out to be somewhat mushi the whole story, guess i'm not a taugh chick... sory if i made u puke...